Week 10: Death and Dying

When I was at WWU I took a class on “Death and Dying,” that was extremely interesting. We looked at death from a cultural standpoint around the world, and then from a scientific standpoint. What stuck with me the most was when we had a Hospice nurse come in and talk to our class. We were allowed to ask her questions and she told us why she did what she did. At first I could not understand how someone could face death every day and then go on about their lives, being happy. Her name escapes me but her words don’t.

She said that she fully and whole heartedly believed in Hospices’ goal to allow people to die with dignity. Many people aren’t able to do things for themselves that we consider private (such as bathing and using the bathroom), and the nurses help with that. But they are also somewhat of an emotional resource because they are there every day taking care of the patient. The nurse said there is nothing more rewarding then being able to carry out someone’s dying wish because it’s sometimes too hard for the family or friends. When you help someone die with dignity, you are helping them come to terms with what is going on, but you are also taking some of the burden off of the family. You are able to send them off in peace.

I can’t personally image being in her shoes or being one of her patients but I can say that if I were dying I would want someone who cares as much as she does by my side.  

Week 9: Aging

I found the article, “As Good as it Gets” very interesting this week. It seems as though we hear a lot about health care in the media these days, but not a lot about other countries health care. My parents live in Sweden and the other day my father had to see a cardiologist and it was covered 100%, I was stunned. Granted their taxes are a bit higher, but their out of pocket costs on dental and healthcare are almost nothing, which in my opinion outweighs the taxes; especially for people that are aging or chronically ill and require more care. It is inevitable that we are all going to age and I believe that the US needs to have better programs in place to handle the gap between what retired people collect in Social Security, versus their medical costs. Maybe instead of giving everyone a large stipend, base it off their income and medical bills? Thoughts? I am open to ideas.

The second thing that piqued my interest was the different biological theories of aging. The wear and tear theory would have been my first assumption, besides acute disease, that causes death, but it seems there are multiple theories. If I had all the money and time I wanted I would do more research on the Free Radicals theory. It seems odd to me that your body would create random chemicals that help the aging process, but maybe they aren’t so random after all. Maybe they are meant to develop when the wear and tear on your body is too much.

Week 8: Gender Bias

I found the section in Chapter 12 on Gender Bias really interesting. It seems to me that in this day and age we should have more equality in the work place. The author states: "Research in the United States and Britain also confirms that women are forced to work harder than men." So if women are forced to work harder, why is it that men get paid more? The glass ceiling issue seems to make sense to me as well, if women are being discriminated against they are not going to be able to climb as far on the company or organization ladder as their male counterpart. My assumption is that this will also lead to burn out faster, which was also discussed in the text.

Luckily I have never experienced gender discrimination, or I was not aware if I did. After reading, "Is There Love After a Baby?" I began to wonder if that would lead to some of the problems addressed in the article. If women are having to work harder and balance this with their responsibilities as a parent, they are going to be more stressed out, which may lead to issues with their partner.

I would be curious to hear if anyone else has experienced gender discrimination and if so what that lead to in their home life.

Week 7: Divorce

I found the article “Should you Stay Together for the Kids?” by Walter Kirn to be quite interesting. My parents had a very loving marriage when I was a child, but when I entered high school things began to change. I could tell they weren’t happy like they used to be and my father began to drink heavily. When they would fight it didn’t matter what room you were in the house you could hear it and it was awful! So I begged them to get a divorce. I loved both of my parents and wanted them to be happy and staying together for us seemed to be killing them. My parents did not get a divorce and have worked through some of their issues and I think are on their way to being happy, but during those years I felt a divorce would have been best. Yes, I would have had to deal with the implications, but I was already dealing with a hostile environment.

                The article presents many different theories about the effect of divorce on children but I think every case is different and should be treated as such. Stephanie Coontz’s theory is one that I can best identify with. Yes, I would have liked to have both parents working together to raise my brother and I, but I would have settled with 2 homes and 2 separated but happy parents.  But that is just my situation, I think there are varying opinions on this topic for a reason. The article states, “ Coontz doesn’t believe in social time travel. She doesn’t think we can go back to Leave it to Beaver after we’ve seen Once and Again.” Since we can’t go back and divorce is extremely prevalent I think we need to focus our attention on resources for children who are struggling with a divorce in the family. It is up to the parent’s to fix the marriage if possible, but as a society we can help kids through the pain.

Week 6: Teenagers

This week’s reading was really interesting. My friend’s stepdaughter is 13 and we have noticed a lot of changes. The text on page 300 states “Girls who mature early often lack self-confidence, are less popular, are more likely to be depressed and have behavior problems…” This, for lack of a better term, blew my mind! How can so much be determined by this?!

                As I was reading all of this it made me think back to our other readings about development and parenting styles and it all started to come together. Your parenting styles are of course determined much before your child becomes a teenager, but it certainly comes into play when you have a preteen or teenager on your hands. The text also says, “The good news here is that the harmful effects of early maturation can be offset by other factors: For example, an early-maturing girl who has warm and supportive parents is less likely to suffer the consequences of early maturation.” (page 300).

                I also thought the concept of a personal fable, “…teenager’s tendency to believe that their experiences and feelings are unique and that no one has ever felt of thought as they do.” Going back to my friend’s stepdaughter, while at their house I have heard this phrase quite a bit: “YOU JUST DON’T GET IT!” Every time I want to tell her that we have all been there and we do understand, but after reading this it seems that we need to be supportive instead of trying to prove that we know what we are talking about. Out of curiosity, for those of you who have teenagers, what are your strategies when you hear this phrase? Or do you not hear it?

Thanks for reading!

Week 5: Parenting Styles

The most interesting part of the text in Chapter 7, to me, was the outline of parenting styles, coupled with the article “Parenting: The Lost Art?” It seemed to me that the 4 categories: Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Uninvolved summed up the variations quite well. According to the text: “…authoritative parenting is best for most children most of the time. Children with authoritative parents tend to have higher grades and are responsible, self-reliant, and friendly. In contrast, children with authoritarian parents are often unhappy, have low self-esteem and frequently are overly aggressive.”

I used to work at a day care and have seen children who come from a variety of parenting styles. It was usually pretty easy to pick out the children that were more well-adjusted and adapted to playing and sharing with other children. Although, at the time I didn’t know the official name for the parenting style, I did know that they were doing something right. Now I know they are Authoritative parents. One question that I have is, what accounts for the different behaviors in siblings? I am not talking about the differences that can be attributed to birth order, but where one sibling is really aggressive and out of control, while the other is completely in control. Can a parent have two different styles (for whatever reason)?

The article shows parents that are trying to be more like friends with their kids, and I have encountered children like this as well. Generally they thought they were equal to adults. I personally don’t think their parents are doing them any favors by being a permissive parent. It sets the child up for failure later on. For all the parents out there: what do you think? Is permissive parenting ever ok? Is it easier? I don’t have children so I cannot speak from experience.

Thanks for reading!